I was just thinking about some things the past couple of days , and I guess this is why I have a blog. A few nights ago I was unable to find sleep even though I was quite tired. Im trying to do the right things to feel good about my relationship with God and my beliefs, so as I was lying awake I reached for my spanish scriptures from my mission. I am trying to work on the language that I have lost in the past two and a half years. It didnt take me long to realize that as great as my pronounciation is, I had little idea what I was reading. So as an alternative I reached for my college journal. I did so because that is where my patriarchal blessing has been located for the past 6 years. It was refreshing to me to read some of the promises that were given to me so many years ago. As I read it, lots of things crossed my mind. There are lots of things that I want to havein this life. They arent material things, but it was refreshing to read that they were included there.
After I folded it back up and tucked it in its envelope, I opened up my journal to read. It was funny to read about some of the things I had forgotten about my first semester of college. Lots of memories rushed back to me. Some good, some bad, some embarrassing, but all things that I feel I had grown from. I thought of the good times that I had, and a lot of just poor decisions that I made. Sometimes I wish that I could go back and change some of the things that Ive done. Wish I would have worked harder. Wish I would have made a better choice. Had a better grip on the things going on in my life. I feel that even though I wasted some great opportunities, I still have a lot more ahead.
Optimism is something that I have developed in my life. I had to learn to be happy and I am glad that people notice that I try to enjoy each day. I can only build on the things that I have learned. Im so thankful for my family and friends that help me be a better person. Im grateful for the knowledge that I have through the gospel. It helps me keep in perspective what is really important. I love the simple things I have. I have learned that if you cant have joy in who you are, nothing will ever make you happy. I hope that you know how loved and important you are.